The Sun Never Sets On The British Empire

October 24th, 2012 Posted in Uncategorized

There’s an old joke I tell from time to time that goes like this:

Heaven is where the Germans are the engineers, the Italians are the lovers, the French are the cooks, and the English are the administrators.

Hell is where the Germans are the lovers, the Italians are the administrators, the French are the engineers, and the English are the cooks.

As you have heard me mention before it’s often when people are joking that they are the most serious. This little joke captures the truism that each culture has a strength that is inherent and unique to that country.

For example, one would be wise to dress British and act Yiddish.

The latter is easily accomplished by developing the habit of always paying yourself first. You can learn an incredible amount from that statement alone. The British tailors perfected the suit. Even the Windsor knot was invented by the British and is the perfect way for a man to tie his tie.

The male suit as we know it is a modern day adaptation of the breast plate worn by warriors in the past. The tie is a phallic symbol. The writing is on the wall. Have you ever noticed a tie points directly to the male crotch?

When I was a kid I adored James Bond. Everything he did was so manly and cool and he always had the best suits. In junior high I started studying Winston Churchill. He was such a great leader. The first dog I ever purchased on my own was an English Bulldog just like his.

Get out a globe sometime and look at how small the United Kingdom is. It is amazing the global dominance that country accomplished and held throughout history. Hence this was accomplished because they are great administrators. We are even their bastard child.

They are also one of the last countries you would ever want to go to war with. They even pioneered Greenwich Mean Time the BBC and one of the most effective Naval fleets ever.

If you think about it most of our hit TV shows start over there as well. American Idol, The X Factor, The Office, and a myriad of our other entertainment shows.

You can also thank the British for Harry Potter, The Mighty Boosh, Doctor Who, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle who was not only the creator of Sherlock Holmes, but also a great physician.

I was sharing with my good friend Allan Holdsworth my love of the brilliant TV show Sanford and Son. Then Allan shared with me that my beloved show was in all reality an American adaptation of the original English sketch comedy Steptoe and Son. Isn’t that crazy?

So cook up some fish and chips, get you a nice English ale, you know they make a fine beer as well, and watch an episode of Steptoe and Son on YouTube.

Always remember- dress British and act Yiddish.

Well alright then,


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